HOW I STOPPED CARING ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK
I think we can all agree on the fact that it’s totally one of those ‘cannot take my own advice!’ sorts of topics, where we always tell our friends to stop caring about what other people think when they’re scared to do something, even though when it comes down to it, we are ALL a little bit afraid of what other people in society think or say about us.
It’s human nature! I’m not going to be overly thrilled when I hear someone talk about how I’m not successful because I don’t have 60,000 followers on Instagram, but the way I have learnt to deal with those sorts of comments is what I would like us to focus on from now on.. because really, WHO CARES WHAT THEY THINK!
I have always had to deal with other people talking crap about me. I was once a 15 year old girl at college for goodness sake, can you imagine the kinds of things that were said behind peoples backs? Yes you can, because you can remember it.
We have all had nasty things said about us, and sure, everyone at some point in their lives has said something nasty about someone else. Like I said, we are all human, but I really think as the years go by and we grow up and mature that little bit more, it’s all about learning to
1. obviously don’t be nasty about other people! The 15 year old me learnt that the hard way
2. learn to deal with what other people say about you in a way that doesn’t affect you internally whatsoever. Learning to live this way is very doable, and in my experience over the past couple of years, has been incredibly liberating.
Part of the problem is that 85% of the time, it’s more about what we think is being said about us, perhaps due to past experiences at high school, where we just assume that somebody out there is going to be thinking or saying something horrible about whatever we might be doing!
I’ve started getting myself into the mentality that people aren’t thinking mean things about you, and if they are, I try to remember this one crucial piece of advice I was given a couple of years ago:
If somebody is speaking or thinking about you in a negative way, commenting negatively on something that you are doing, or wearing, or saying, or persuing, you win. You are the winner. You are the happier person, you are the one putting yourself out there and being creative, working hard, doing something you love, doing something different and exciting. If they are going to comment on you negatively, what does that make them? They are spending their lives being negative and commenting on other people, whereas you are spending your life doing something you love that is exciting, passionate and most importantly, positive. Who really wins here? So stop caring about them!
THEY ARE LAME. YOU ARE AWESOME!
It took me an awfully long time to really engrain that type of thinking into the way I live my life, but once I got my head around it and started to really push myself, do the things I love and the things I have always wanted to try, I felt the most free I have felt in my entire life.
For instance, it took me about a year to completely feel comfortable with the fact that I was putting myself, my creativity and my opinions out there on a blog. I had a handful of people say horrible things about me (and it always got back to me, be careful what you say about other people because nine times out of ten it will get back to them!), saying things like “oh what is she doing, that is so cringe, blah blah blah” honestly those are the types of people who are bored with their own lives, easily jealous and wish they had the confidence and creativity to put themselves out there and do something creative and positive!
Even now since I have started my YouTube channel, I still feel that tiny bit of fear creep in every time I film a video. I very quickly flick that bit of fear to the side and think about the things I could achieve in two years time if I keep at it, because the things I have achieved in the past two years since starting my blog have been more than I could have possible ever dreamed of.
The person full of love, positivity and support for other people is ALWAYS going to go further than the person who is negative, jealous and bored with their own lives (that’s the only reason why people talk!).
REMEMBER IT GUYS! You are ALL amazing, you are all going to achieve amazing things, but you will achieve the most after you learn to completely stop giving a damn what other people think about you.
If theres something that you have always wanted to try, whether its starting a blog/YouTube channel or even if its to start up your own business, I encourage you to give it a go, because the only people that fail in life are the people who don’t try.
I’d love for you guys to share your tips on how you managed to overcome the fear of what others say about you and if you’ve had any experiences where you’ve felt like you’ve finally found the strength to stop giving a crap, please share them with me!
Go kill it team!
Lots of love, Ash xx